To pill or not to pill

Finding the perfect birth control pill is like trying to find the perfect pair of jeans. It's hard to find the perfect fit. What seems to work for one person doesn't mean it will work for you. For a few months one seems to work but a few months later you find that it's no longer working. What most women don't know but this is very common.

I've been on and off the pill for the past 6 years. I've tried different kinds. I've had the hardest time trying to find my perfect "fit". Recently, I tried going back on the pill. While they suggested I go on one I opted for another one. The one they suggested has gotten a lot of bad press recently. I was afraid of having gallbladder issues, etc. so I opted for another choice. Within the first week (which happened to fall around my 26th birthday) I started to notice some changes in myself. I cried more than usual. I'd get upset for no reason. Little things that never bothered me before started to bother me. This brought back some bad memories from years previous. I had the same problems while taking birth control years earlier. Getting mood swings isn't usually listed as side effects on the warning label of your birth control. However, I'm not the only one who has suffered from the same thing. I've done heavy internet research and there are other women who suffer from the same thing. I've talked to several of my friends and they have experienced the same thing.

With all the side effects that are listed the one that concerns me the most is the one that isn't listed.. mood swings. The past two months have been pure hell. No matter what time of the day I tried taking it I had nausea. I would wake up with nausea. I'd go to bed with nausea. If I was drinking one night with my friends my moods would change. I cried when a guy I kinda liked was talking to another girl.. this normally wouldn't have bothered me. I lost patience for the little things like grocery lines, waiting for a table, etc. I would snap or get rude at friend for no reason. The worst was the dark thoughts that soon entered my head. I remember last week sitting in the bathtub and I was crying and I couldn't stop. I felt like I had no reason to live anymore. It was a scary moment. The next day I decided to take myself off the pill. It's been a few days later and I'm starting to feel like my normal self again.

How do you explain this to someone so they don't think there's something wrong with you? If your behavior was really bad.. how do you apologize someone? "I'm sorry, my birth control made me nuts?" - I'm not sure that would work very well. Maybe one day the medical community will reconize this & not look at me like I have two heads when I explain to them the side effects I experience. Hopefully I have forgiving family & friends who will understand that I wasn't going crazy.. it was just the damn pill I was taking!